Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
