i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
