I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
