Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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