Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
