I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
