the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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