I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Houston, we have a blender
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
