I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
