Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
