it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize