i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
