I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
FUCK WHALES
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
