yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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