I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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