i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
