whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
