he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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