This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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