So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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