Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
