I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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