Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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