Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
