we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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