The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
it was like eating out sand paper
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
is it fun? or sober?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
