it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
