you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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