Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm bleeding and have questions
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize