I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
