Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
