ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
