Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
