How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
