I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
