I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
