Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Found your dick twin last night
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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