he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
