Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
