where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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