you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
