I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
