he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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