So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
