The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
