she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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