a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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