BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
