Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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