I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
