do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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