As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
