we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
