I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize