So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
