if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
