yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
