dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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