So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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