i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
