You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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